STOP Thinking, "What should my child learn by the end of the year?"

Scouring my Facebook pages, I recently saw a post where someone shared a link for resources, "What Your Child Needs to Know By the End of the Year." Of course I needed to comment on that.

As the parent of 3 homeschoolers,  I will tell you that the first rule to homeschooling is not to do this.  That's right!  I said it!  Sets you up for failure right away!  Sure the decision to join the homeschooling journey is scary. In fact, it is downright nerve wrecking!  "What if I don't teach them everything they need to know?"  Sorry to tell you this in advance but, you can't.  You won't - but that is not failure. That is normal!  What if I fail my child?" Or,  "What if I can't do this? " As the product of a public school education, and the parent of homeschoolers, I will tell you that you will not fail your child.  You are caring about one, two, or more children with your heart and soul, instead of a stranger that the state and school system selected to choose to teach 25 little strange humans - and hope to get it right by the end of the school calendar  year.  You will not fail your child with the passion and zest for them to succeed. You will look for people and resources to support you on the journey however, do not think about what your child SHOULD know by the end of a particular year.  If someone hands you a list like that, run.  Turn away! That is the public school mentality. Get out of that frame of mind. When they are older, prepping for the later years of their learning, you can focus on that.  This group was a new group, focusing on elementary education.  Wrong path to start on.  Your decision to homeschool should be different than doing the same thing that everyone else is doing.  Let me explain.

Many people started schooling at home during COVID and there is a HUGE difference between homeschooling and schooling at home. Schooling-at-home means you are following your state's guidelines and your child is learning according to every other child - learning what the system wants your child to know and when they want your child to know it.  This also means the state is providing your child's materials and teacher support and your student/child is required to do state testing at the end of the year to measure their learning success. True homeschooling?  Parents provide the curriculum and decide what the child learns, and when and how it is done. This mentality of, "What should my child know by the end of the year," is not OK if you are truly homeschooling.  Why??? Simply because it is the reason most families chose to homeschool in the first place; to be an advocate for their child and their learning - not to be compared to every other child.  Doing so will truly cause frustration with you and your child. The first lesson to learn in homeschooling during the younger years, is that you teach your child according to their capabilities and style of learning; their ability. Otherwise, the pressure and forced learning will make them not want to learn!  Not wanting to learn and fighting with you to complete bounded worksheets just to get through "what you think they should know by the end of the year" are two different things. The child isn't rebelling or stressing you purposely, they just need to be engaged and understand how that particular subject, lesson or activity affects them!  Some do not understand it from print in a book.  Children need to understand the WHY and the HOW will come naturally. They will want to learn and the success of accomplishing milestones will come with ease.

New homeschooling families, if you haven't learned from long term homeschooling families yet, understand that we are all different.  You will see that some children begin reading at 4 or 5, while others read, and later soar, at 8 years of age. Sounds strange since the public school system has the students crying and stressing out in first grade to learn sight words and repeat their spelling words 10x each, right? I know. The children are learning via memorization.  Truth of the matter is, while there are "standards" to refer to, each child learns differently and at a different pace. You are setting yourself up for early failure to attempt to get lists and lists completed if your child is not ready.  Begin by teaching the WHY they might want to learn things and the HOW you teach them will take off because their curiosity will engage them.  The lists are just generic lists.  They aren't ​meant for every child and the sooner you learn that, the sooner homeschooling - not "learning at home," will be the best decision you made for  your family; no rules, no time crunches, no deadlines. Simply learning for life.