The Children Have All Big and Don't Need You for Schooling ... What now?

"It's back to school time and my child doesn't need me like he use to anymore.  What now?" That is a popular phrase heard from homeschooling parents.

Like many involved parents who have gone through the homeschooling journey, some must begin to create their new path.  Things weren't always this easy as figuring out how to spend your time.  There were many years spent researching everything from curriculum for the best education for your family, figuring out what co-op to join to go and what time of year was  best to enroll in classes, if any.  You had to figure out a home budget and find the best deals around for food and  educational places to get the kids out of the house! Toting children beside you was a joyous, though sometimes overwhelming, task to get things done.

As parents, we often find ourselves with a mix of responsibilities and opportunities to fill our time while the children are either at school, gone to co-op classes where you have dropped them off, gone off to college or moved on with their lives. Lots of sacrifice. There was so much sacrifice! Learning this new part of the story, the fact that it will pass quickly and you will have time to rediscover yourself after raising children; the time is precious.  Unless you figure something out - besides wasting time binge watching Netflix, you will find that the precious time goes by too fast. Ask others how they spend their time. After talking to some of the people in my life, I found out this is how they spend their time:

Work.
Many parents use this time to focus on their careers or part-time jobs, allowing them to contribute to the family's financial stability, especially if one parent has been a stay at home parent during their children's youthful years. An extra income allows for financial freedom in some cases, or rather, the ability to vacation and buy additional items they wouldn't be able to otherwise.

Household Tasks.
"Today was so much fun scrubbing the toilet and organizing the pantry," says no one ever! Not fun by any means but some parents may tackle household chores and errands that are easier to complete without children around, such as cleaning, grocery shopping, running to the bank, post office or scheduling repairs. We all need oil changes that we are not willing to sit and wait at the dealership for - for 3 hours - with younger children! We also know how children touch everything due to curiosity and want a lot of merchandise they see on shelves. I am pretty sure many of us have left Target with things we had no intention on purchasing when we walked in. That oil change and store run is so much smoother when you can go at it alone.

Self-Care.
I never realized how important self care was until after the global pandemic! I, like many parents, take advantage of the free time to prioritize self-care activities like exercising, getting my nails done going to appointments, meeting friends for brunch or simply enjoying a moment of relaxation. That saying is true, "A happy wife means a happy life!" I do take my time to focus on me. It makes me a better spouse and mother. If the children are still living at home, you can talk to them about how this helps your mental health. The same way they prefer not to be disturbed, parents can use time for self-care. There is no shame in that! It leads me to the next thought.

Personal Development.
Just when you thought your school and learning time was over, it isn't. Rather, it shouldn't be! We have access to so much in this digital-tech world that we can continue to develop ourselves. Are we ever completely done? Using this time to invest in personal development, taking courses, pursuing hobbies, or reading, helps us strive towards the long term goals we set aside as parents. We tucked away hobbies and dreams. There is nothing wrong with pulling them out of the deep crevices in which they have been lying dormant for so long.

Socializing.
Having the opportunity to socialize with friends, join clubs, or participate in community activities, helps foster connections outside of the family. You, we, must remember that before we were parents, we were people with our own set of dreams and likes. Socializing is going to be an integral part of aging - otherwise it will be a lonely journey.

Volunteering.
When you want to add to your skills, whether polishing them up or learning new ones, not wanting to commit, dedicate yourself to one place completely allows you to float. Like myself, many parents choose to volunteer at their children's schools or engage in community service, contributing to their local communities. When your children have aged out of the school system, looking into private sectors would be helpful. I have many friends that do this. We don't realize that many places do not have a big budget to hire from the outside. A lot of non-profits rely on volunteers, if only for simple tasks such as administrative work. While it is a consistent need, there are tasks that require minimal supervision for the experienced person. As a volunteer, we can bring a plethora of knowledge to an organization to complete a tasks without a supervisor feeling like they must hover.

Meal Preparation.
Get a head start on dinner and save money in the process! When you are hungry, you make rash decisions.  I found through my research, preparing meals ahead of time for the family is another common activity some parents do during school hours. Provided your children are not grown and moved out, this ensures that everyone has nutritious food to enjoy together later. If the children are out of the house, prepping meals for the week saves you more time for activities, healthier options so you aren't running to purchase fast food - unhealthy and unappetizing - meals. 

Seminars, Workshops or Meetings.
Although many seminars have continued to offer online sessions, organizations have began to opt back in for in person sessions. Parents may finally attend those seminars or workshops that they have been putting off for years, whether related to next steps in parenting, education, business start-ups for themselves or community involvement.

Travel or Event Planning and Organization.
Upcoming family events and vacations require someone to do all of the hard work! Not having to set a clock to be somewhere at a specific time opens up many opportunities for others to utilize your services. Who else can handle coordinating schedules with constant messages and e-mails and still be able to keep the family's routine running smoothly? You got it! You! I am quite sure someone thought you would be perfect for the task because you had nothing else to do! In fact, I think I am going to volunteer to take that over this year for my family! I love planning. I enjoy telling people where to be and when. That way, I know all the details of the event and ensure it runs smoothly. After running a family for many years, it gets hard to walk away and let someone else take control. With more time on your hands because the children are not in the home, there's an "endless" amount of time to fill.
​Parents typically juggle a mix of personal, professional, and household responsibilities, as well as opportunities for self-improvement and social engagement while their children are at school. This allows them to maximize their time and contributing to the well-being of both themselves and their families. Happy wife = happy life. What is the saying for a happy husband?  Where is your peace and serenity? How are you going to define who you are?

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